Startup Blood

Good morning LPs,

Yesterday was Father’s Day, so naturally I celebrated like I do every year: by screaming at the sky for giving me a dad who’s perpetually disappointed. I hoped you enjoyed the holiday as well. Here’s what we’re gonna cover in today’s newsletter:

• Founder Says Sick Newborn Son Has ‘Startup Blood’ 

• CEO of Failed Startup Raises $10M For New Company

• OpenAI to Give Up Non-Profit Board

Let’s get into it.

Founder Says Sick Newborn Son Has ‘Startup Blood’ 

Some people celebrate fathers day with a barbecue, other people buy their dad a set of wrenches. But if you’re a startup founder with a sick newborn in the ICU, you post on LinkedIn that he’ll be fine because he’s got ‘startup blood’.

For the last 18 years I’ve asked my dad to go on a golf outing with me for Father’s day, and every year I get the same answer: a meeting request denial on outlook. When I read this post, I realized I should be grateful for the absent father I have. 

Because an absent father is undoubtedly better than a startup dad who’s more cringe than my 7th grade ballet performance. 

I wish the baby Rafael a speedy recovery, and for his own sake that he’s immediately put into foster care. Because as we all know most startups fail, so this child is in GRAVE DANGER.

CEO of Failed Startup Raises $10M For New Company

Sometimes I read a serious article and it’s like the satire is already written for me. 

Just read this: “Trustees for bankrupt fintech Synapse are still hunting for $85 million in lost customer money. But that hasn’t stopped the company's former chief executive Sankaet Pathak from raising millions in funding for a new robotics venture, Foundation.” - The Information

That’s like giving a homeless person $100, watching them buy crack, and then giving them $200 the next day. 

This is why baby Rafael should be worried. Because when his “Startup Blood” inevitably kills him, his dad will just raise money for a new child.

OpenAI to Give Up Non-Profit Board

Some of you are probably too busy getting laid to know this, but OpenAI is controlled by a non-profit board.

I always found that strange considering it’s a demon corporation making billions by taking people's jobs and destroying peoples brains. 

But the days of OpenAI’s non-profit control are coming to an end. Leaked conversations from shareholders show that Sam Altman is “considering changing its governance structure to a for-profit business that OpenAI’s nonprofit board doesn’t control”. -  The Information

As some of you may remember, I resigned from OpenAI’s leadership team a few weeks back. But if they move to a for-profit structure that vows to fuck as many people over as possible, I’m back on board. 

Memes

Finally found someone to open up Jabroni Capital’s Japan office!

I gotta get my accountant to stop doing interviews…

If this is how your VC responds, consider yourself lucky.

Song of the Day

This weekend I celebrated my birthday by partying in the woods with a group of degenerate. This is was hot girl anthem of the weekend.

Newsletter Feedback

I’d love your feedback on what sort of content you’d like to see or how you think I could improve :)

That’s all for this week folks,

Jack Kuveke (J.K.) | GP @ Jabroni Capital