Jabroni Capital’s Top Stock Pick: Boeing

Welcome to the 270 Jabroni’s who became LPs since the last issue. If you haven’t subscribed yet, I’ll call your mom & pretend to be a disgruntled ex.

Jabroni Capital’s Top Stock Pick: Boeing

Welcome back LPs,

I know it’s been a while since my last post, but in my defense, this newsletters tagline is literally ‘as unreliable as your lead investor’. I’d say I feel bad about being inconsistent, but honestly I don’t feel anything. My therapist tells me this is something we need to work on, but in my opinion it makes firing unpaid interns WAY easier.

But that’s not what we’re here to talk about today. The other week a whistleblower at a major U.S. corporation killed themselves. I wont name the organization out of fear that I too will accidently commit suicide. But clearly someone high up at Boeing… uh I mean, an unnamed aero-space company, has been watching The Sopranos. This is deplorable behavior, and anyone who tries to tell me that this man killed himself after literally saying he wouldn’t weeks earlier is a moron.

And that’s not all… wait a second, my unpaid intern Jeff is telling me I’m getting a call from an unnamed person at a top U.S. corporation. I’ll be right back.

Alright. Unrelated to my phone call, I’d like to formally retract everything I previously said about Boeing. They’re an incredible U.S. company that builds the highest quality aircrafts on the market. My personal favorite is the Boeing 737-Max9. Just look at its ability to cruise 20% more efficiently than it’s competitors while still offering me the range to fly coast to coast from my Miami apartment to my LA home.

You people probably think I only fly private, or at the very least wouldn’t be caught dead in anything less than first class. But with the 737-Max9’s SPACIOUS economy cabin, I will HAPPILY choose a seat in the last row next to the bathroom.

I think what I’m trying to get at with this newsletter today, is the importance of trust. It’s not fair for us to be skeptical of our corporate overlords. When your former presidents chef tragically drowns in a pond in the back of his summer home, trust that it was an accident. When a different former presidents aid hangs themselves & then shoots themselves in the chest with a shotgun, trust it was a tragic case of mental illness. And when the highest profile pedophile who is friends with every president & billionaire, tragically hangs themselves in a maximum security prison while on suicide watch, question nothing. Your job as an American is simple: shut up, don’t read into anything, and buy more plane tickets… or else.

Memes

corporate.bro

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That’s all for this week folks,

Jack Kuveke (J.K.) | GP @ Jabroni Capital