Finance Bro Summer

Good morning LPs,

Unlike the rest of the internet I’m NOT going to talk about the Hawk Tuah meme. You’re welcome. Instead, here’s what we cover:

• Finance Bros Are Cool Again

• Billionaire VCs Argue About Trump vs Biden

• Diversity vs Meritocracy

Let’s get into it.

Finance Bros Are Cool Again

Six months ago it was cool to have an Antifa boyfriend who’s personal hero was Hilary Clinton. But we’re in such a schizophrenic era that a TikTok song reminded women why they liked dating finance bros. Don’t believe me? Check out this WSJ article.

For the last couple years whenever I was at a bar in NYC and girls asked me what I did for work I told them I was a venetian glassblower & flipped a scarf around my neck. 

But this weekend I was celebrating a buddy’s birthday, & every time a group of girls asked us what we did I cringed when my group said we worked in finance. But instead of getting an aperol spritz thrown on us like would have been the case a year ago, the gals were into it.

I guess it’s time to throw away my hipster disguise & put my Patagonia vest & Gucci loafers back on. 

Billionaire VCs Argue About Trump vs Biden

Last week The All in Podcast (aka the gods of VC) had Trump on their podcast which reportedly gave David Sacks the first erection he’s had in years. In response, founder of LinkedIn, Reid Hoffman responded by tearing apart Sacks 4 reasons for supporting the orange-faced former president.

I’m sick of billionaires trying to tell me which dementia riddled 80 year old man is a better choice. 

That’s why I’m personally endorsing Caitlyn Jenner for president. Because nothing will bring America together like a trans-republican who opposes gay marriage. This is who we deserve.

Diversity vs Meritocracy

When you think of legendary rivalries you probably think of: 

• Rocky vs Apollo

• Tupac vs Biggie

• Alexander Hamilton vs Aaron Burr

But there’s no bigger feud in Silicon Valley than Diversity vs Meritocracy. This week Alex Wang founder of Scale AI, came under fire for announcing that his multi-billion dollar startup will be hiring based on Meritocracy. 

As almost a slap to the face to woke tech dorks, he calls his new policy MEI or Meritocracy, Excellence, and Intelligence instead of DEI (diversity, equity, & inclusion). 

As a white man who’s cheated his way through everything, I don’t believe in either of these policies. 

Instead, at Jabroni Capital we hire people based off of AEI: Autism, Exploitable, Inheritance.

Memes

What’s most shocking is that people still want celebrities to write squiggles on hats.

corporate.bro

View more on Instagram

This is actually not a bad brainstorming strategy.

Not all heroes wear capes.

Song of the Week

Red alert. I found a new hot girl summer anthem and it’s a banger. This is what I listen to as I slump back home after a night partying with my boyz.

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That’s all for this week folks,

Jack Kuveke (J.K.) | GP @ Jabroni Capital