Boomer Rage

Good morning LPs,

I hope you enjoyed the long weekend. I my weekend laying on a pool floatie, hanging out with a rich wall street exec & a member of the rap group public enemy (not kidding). Anyway, here’s what we talk about in today’s newsletter:

• Techcrunch Writer Fired

• Boomers Enrage Internet

Let’s get into it.

Techcrunch Writer Fired

Last week Haje Kamps, a ‘Journalist’ for Techcrunch, was fired for telling the CEO of Scale AI to ‘fuck all the way off’ for focusing on meritocracy instead of diversity.

This coincidentally was perfect timing. I’ve been trying to hire a cuck at Jabroni Capital for months, but was struggling to find someone who was the right fit.

After reading Haje’s post, I realized he would be the perfect candidate. You see tech journalists like Haje sit in the cuck chair watching other people do a job that they can’t.

I was so impressed with Haje’s behavior, I offered him a job. Welcome to the team Haje. Honored to be disappointing founders by your side!

Boomers Enrage Internet

The internet was enraged this weekend over a WSJ article which claimed that boomers were driving the economy by having more fun than their children. 

While many people were quick to shit all over the boomers, I’m actually grateful for their existence.

Yes, they have raped & pillaged the planet of all its resources. Yes they single handedly got us into a dozen proxy wars which bankrupted America. But we need them. 

Boomers are like the aliens from the movie Independence Day. They give the Gen Zs, Millennials, and Gen Xers a common enemy to fight. 

Mr. Beast For President

When

Memes

We don’t need a recession, we need a even greater depression.

corporate.sween

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If that happened to me, I’d just fire my whole team.

corporate.bro

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When my employees travel for work, I make them sleep in a tent under the closest bridge.

Song of the Day

This is the song I was blasting while I floated in a pool this weekend.

Newsletter Feedback

I’d love your feedback on what sort of content you’d like to see or how you think I could improve :)

That’s all for this week folks,

Jack Kuveke (J.K.) | GP @ Jabroni Capital