Blackmailing Billionaires

Good afternoon LPs,

We’re a week away from the 1-year anniversary of me starting Jabroni Capital. I just want to take a second to thank the 40,000 Filipinos that I paid to follow me & subscribe to the newsletter. Without all of your support, I couldn’t fake being popular to all my judgmental family members.

Anyway, here’s what we talk about in today’s newsletter:

• Trump Works at McDonalds

• Elon Musk Giving $1M to Voters in Pennsylvania

Let’s get into it.

Trump Works at McDonalds

On Sunday Donald Trump released a series of videos of him working at a McDonalds. 

This got me thinking about my own industry. Here’s why VCs couldn’t handle working at McDonalds. 

Reason 1: If a VC worked the cash register at Mckie D’s they wouldn’t understand the transaction that was occurring. They would give the customer $20, convince them to make & sell their own burgers for $500, & pray to god they were successful.

Reason 2: Any time someone would place an order at the drive-thru, a VC would respond, “thanks for the note, we’ll circle back” - then they would ghost.  

Reason 3: VCs expect to spend July-August in the South of France & unfortunately there aren’t many McDonald’s there. 

And unlike VCs, Donald Trump looked effortless in this environment because he’s eaten so much McDonalds in his lifetime he almost looks like a French fry.

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Elon Musk Giving $1M to Voters in Pennsylvania

On Saturday, Elon Musk announced he would give $1M/day to a random Pennsylvania voter that signed a petition saying they supported the 1st & 2nd amendments (for you non-American commies, those are the rights to free speech & to own guns). 

This is genius, because if there’s anything we know about the poor, it's that they love a scratch off ticket. 

We’re at a fascinating stage in American politics. The republicans claim democrats influence elections by giving out thousands of dollars to illegal immigrants. Meanwhile the democrats now claim republicans are influencing the election by giving people a million dollars a day. 

This is like if you try to argue about whether or not Jeffrey Epstein & P Diddy is worse at your family's thanksgiving. One side blackmailed billionaires & had sex with kids, while the other side blackmailed rappers & had sex with kids. They’re both diddling children, but somehow you’re in the middle arguing which is worse.

Memes

jabronicap

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This edit fucking killed me, go watch it now.

This is 100% accurate.

jabronicap

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This is the kind of relationship I’m looking for.

Song of the Day

Today’s song is another classic. If you haven’t walked down the streets of NYC dancing to Can I kick it? - then you haven’t lived.

Newsletter Feedback

I’d love your feedback on what sort of content you’d like to see or how you think I could improve :)

That’s all for this week folks,

Jack Kuveke (J.K.) | GP @ Jabroni Capital