Asylum: A Fintech Solving the Migrant Crisis

Jabroni Capital is partnering with JP Morgan to launch a new fintech startup..

Welcome to the Jabroni’s who became LPs since the last issue. If you haven’t subscribed yet, I’ll get you deported.


Good morning LPs,

Tensions are rising in the U.S. as the number of illegal immigrants crossing the border swells. This issue has been incredibly divisive on the American political stage. But I’m no politician & I will gladly align myself to whichever political party gives me the most street cred on twitter.

My interest in this crisis lies outside of politics. I think about these people coming across the border to seek the American dream. They’re fleeing poverty, violence, and persecution. But unfortunately they don’t have access to the one key resource that makes Americans so special: debt.

I don’t know if you realized this, but American’s are broke as shit. So the way I see it, the only difference between them and migrants is the ability to finance Gucci wallets & Chanel purses.

That’s why Jabroni Capital is partnering with JP Morgan to launch a fintech called Asylum. Our mission is simple: give migrants the ability to take on crippling debt.

We have placed sales reps at key border crossings so the second an immigrant lands on American soil, they will be given a credit card & a high interest loan.

Now the question on all of your minds is is obvious, ‘how are we going to be funding this?’. Seeing as social security will run out in the next 15 years anyway, we’ve convinced the U.S. government to give ‘Asylum’ the remainder of the social security trust.

I’m sure this may offend many of my subscribers. But I’d like to remind you that startup founders & the U.S. government have one big thing in common. Both groups barely work & misspend other peoples money to serve their own agendas.

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Shameless plug time.

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Shoutout to the people who sent me memes this week (that’s you Meredith)!

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That’s all for this week folks,

Jack Kuveke (J.K.) | GP @ Jabroni Capital

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