Andrew Huberman's Dating Course for Tech Bros

Welcome to the 123 Jabroni’s who became LPs since the last issue. If you haven’t subscribed yet, I’ll pay New York mag to run a salacious article about you.

Breaking News: Jacked Rich Guy Cheats

Good afternoon LPs,

I’m in a good mood today. Yesterday was Easter, and I won the egg hunt against my 5 and 7 year old Nephews. They never stood a chance, within the first 15 minutes I found 90% of the eggs and to assert my dominance I ate all the candy before they got back. On to the story of the day.

News broke this week that a jacked, rich, Stanford scientist who injects himself with Testosterone every week sleeps with multiple women at the same time.

This news was shocking for the entire Jabroni Capital team. Most of us finance bros repressed our dreams of becoming astronauts or marine biologists. If we had known that being a science nerd could get us laid, maybe we wouldn’t need a new BetterHelp counselor every week (promocode ‘Jabroni’ for 69% off).

According to our reports this Huberman news has been shaking up the entire tech industry. We just got word that Bryan Johnson, the vampire looking venture capitalist has hired Huberman as a dating coach.

Johnson, who’s risen to fame for his bizarre anti-aging routines, was blown away by Huberman’s ability to satisfy 6 women at 48 years old.

In fact Huberman’s success as womanizer has garnered the attention of other successful tech bros including Marc Andreessen, Nikita Bier, Chamath, and Jason Calacanis. These men are apparently paying $25,000/month to join Huberman’s new pickup artist course.

So what does this mean for the rest of us in the tech industry? It means that going forward we can expect to see more jacked, tattooed, tech nerds rizzing up ladies at Andrew Yeung events. This isn’t the future I had hoped to see, but it’s the one we got. So I guess all I can do is take steroids, get some sunlight, and start a podcast empire.

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That’s all for this week folks,

Jack Kuveke (J.K.) | GP @ Jabroni Capital