Tragedy in the Skies

Good morning LPs,

There’s a lot of horrible shit going on in the world right now. So instead of focusing on the war in the middle east or the tech oligarchs quickly taking over the world, I figured I’d focus on one of my personal interests: Planes. So buckle up and get ready for us to nerd out a bit on aviation.

Anyway let’s get into today’s newsletter.

Hard and Fast News

fake headlines, real news

Passport policy back-walked by Trump after realizing this would prevent transgenders from leaving the country. “It backfired a bit, it did, but we'll figure it out.”  (Reuters)

Trump releases a phone that auto suggests slurs to be added to the end of sentence. “This is a tremendous milestone that even Scam Altman couldn’t achieve.” (CNN)

Diddy trial jury member held in contempt of court after asking to be shown ‘Freak Off’ videos starring white people displayed in court. (Yahoo)

Some GOP members are “a little bit unhappy” with the possibility of US military intervention. “This Iran ordeal is taking up bandwidth that could be used to persecute minorities” says Mike Johnson. (CNN)

The Air India Crash

Last week I was celebrating my 28th birthday when my brother's girlfriend said, “an Air India plane crashed killing 241 people”. My brother and I immediately asked, “what model plan was it”. When we were told it was a Boeing 787, our child-like brains were devastated. Being the autistic identical twin aviation nerds we are - we knew that since its introduction in 2011 no 787 had been involved in a fatal accident. 

This was obviously tragic (the deaths were sad too). The 787 is easily the greatest Boeing design of the last 40 years. Its perfectly safe record was the last good thing Boeing had going for it. But I don’t want to be all doom and gloom. Last year there was a ton of misinformation and fear mongering about flying. Armchair midwits on X seem to think that anyone boarding a plane is signing up to die in a fiery inferno. Personally I’m more scared of flying coach than dying instantly in an explosion. 

So allow me to set the record straight and give you a little history on aviation safety. 

After World War II commercial aviation took off. But back in the 1940s you were safer driving in a tin can without airbags than flying in a plane. A lot of our boys came back from kickin’ Hitlers ass and needed jobs, and with the rapidly increasing demand for flights these dudes became our first generation of commercial pilots. Unfortunately planes were dropping out of the sky faster than sorority girls drop on tequila Tuesdays. 

There were a number of reasons behind safety problems. For starters the aviation industry was highly unregulated and facing its own startup era. Instead of your friend starting a brain dead AI startup, 21 year olds back then were building airplanes in their garage and then selling them to your uncle who started an airline. I don’t know about you, but my friends are retarded and my uncle has a drinking problem. So this was a recipe for disaster for aviation. 

This went on for a while until the government decided that people exploding in mid-air collisions over the Grand Canyon was bad publicity (true story btw). So the U.S. created the FAA which enforced stricter policies in operating aircrafts. This helped, but people kept exploding. So the NTSB (National Transportation Safety Board) was formed to use girlfriend level investigation tactics to get to the bottom of airplane crashes. By the 1970s the NTSB knew why planes were crashing, and using the FAA’s new authority they could force airlines to improve training and manufacturers (like Boeing) to innovate on plane design. 

The 70’s is when things changed drastically for aviation safety. We got better radar, cockpit voice recorders, and policies that forbade pilots from banging flight attendants during takeoffs and landings. Sadly this meant your alcoholic uncle’s airliner went bankrupt. But now flying was WAY safer than driving. 

Since then it’s only gotten better. Right now, your chance of dying in a plane crash is 1 in 816 million (which is roughly the odds of my father saying he loves me). 

For record this means the following things are more likely to kill you: 

• Vending machines 

• Sharks

• Laughing too hard

• Looking at Linsdey’s Graham's face 

• Cacti 

• Your bed 

I could keep going but I think I’ve made my point. Planes are really, really safe. Before the crash in Jan 2025 the U.S. commercial aviation industry didn’t have a fatal accident for 16 years. Just keep in mind that you’re more likely to get decapitated for whistle blowing on Boeing than actually dying in a Boeing plane crash. Knowing that I hope you sleep well… and keep your mouth shut.

Join My Workshop for Founders Raising $500k - $3M+

Time for a shameless plug

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3. FOMO - are investors afraid they will miss out on investing

That’s why this Thursday and Friday I’m running a two-day workshop for 30 founders who are raising $500k-$3M+ now or in 2025.

I run these workshops every month, and founders who’ve joined the last couple workshops have raised already $30M+.

So if you’re planning to raise money in 2025, join my workshop so you can enjoy at least 10 years before going to jail.

If you refer 5 people to Jabroni Capital I’ll write you an unhinged LinkedIn recommendation and feature it in the newsletter. Shout out to Manuel for referring the most subs this week!

Memes

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Fake your revenue, lie about users, and then give me a call when you want to raise money.

This might be the most memeable Trump clip in a while.

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When in doubt, get your friend to do your dirty work.

Song of the Day

God damn the 80’s were a vibe. Every lead singer looked like they were a drag queen and the music was like something out of a sci-fi movie. This classic by Billy Idol has been back in my musical rotation, and it feels like a fitting summer track. When I listen to it I like to pretend I’m a rich kid in 1986 spending the summer in France.

Listen to the full Jabroni Capital playlist here.

Newsletter Feedback

I’d love your feedback on what sort of content you’d like to see or how you think I could improve :)

That’s all for this week folks,

Jack Kuveke (J.K.) | GP @ Jabroni Capital