The Minnesota Daycare Scandal

Good afternoon LPs,

I hope you enjoyed the holiday. After blacking out 3 days straight, I woke up on Saturday and saw all the recent Minnesota fraud drama. So I figured it was about time I dusted off my keyboard and wrote about it.

Let’s get into today’s newsletter.

Hard and Fast News

fake headlines, real news

BP agrees to sell the Majority of the Castrol Lubricants Unit to Stonepeak amidst fears that demand will decline as Diddy heads to jail. “Puff Daddy alone was responsible for 35% of yearly revenue. We don’t know what the future holds,” said the CEO. (WSJ)

Trump and Zelenskyy meet to discuss peace plan. “While the other 15 peace meetings were all broken within 12 hours, we are sure this one will work,” said Donald Trump in a press conference. (CNN)

China to Hold Military Drills Around Taiwan after US arms deal. “This is bad. Even with Palantir’s face recognition platform, we can’t tell the Chinese soldiers apart from one another,” said Secretary of War Pete Hegseth in a press briefing. (Bloomberg)

US reportedly knocked out “big facility” as part of Venezuela campaign. “It was a big facility, but not nearly as big as Rosie O’Donnell,” read a tweet from President Trump early Monday morning. (NYT)

The Minnesota Scam

On Friday, a YouTuber by the name of Nick Shirley went viral for posting a video attempting to expose widespread fraud in the U.S. state of Minnesota. 

This story was originally reported weeks ago by small news outlets like The New York Times and The Washington Post, but unfortunately, no one reads those. So it was a prime opportunity for an unknown YouTuber armed with an iPhone and a budget rental car to break the story and get 100 million views in 24 hours. 

So what’s the context? Well, a few weeks back, the U.S. attorney’s office began arresting people on account of fraud. The office stated that of the $18B spent in Minnesota’s medicaid services program, over $9B was potentially misspent. The good news is that’s only half of the medicaid budget. The other good news is that only 37% of those funds are funded by Minnesota state taxpayers; the rest was paid for by us Americans who don’t live in that shithole state. 

Hearing of this news, Nick Shirley wanted to document some of this fraud himself. So he flew to Minnesota and met up with an old, retired white guy with too much time on his hands who had been personally investigating this fraud for years. 

This old white guy claimed that there were hundreds of Somali-run child day cares, autism centers, and transportation companies that received millions in state funding but weren’t doing shit. At first, when I heard this claim, I thought he was just a racist old white guy. But by the end of the video, I realized he was not only an old, racist white guy, but he was also likely correct. 

The video is alarming. They go to dozens of different child daycare facilities that are either closed, vacant, have blacked out windows, or are just an empty parking lot. In the Somalians’ defense, most of their childhoods were probably spent in vacant buildings and empty parking lots, so it’s not unreasonable for them to think these made good daycare facilities. 

I’ll be honest, for a lot of this video, you could chalk up the emptiness of these facilities to an off day or maybe the holiday. But then they showed up at a facility that had received $4M in state funding, and had a mispelled sign that said, “Quality Learing Center”. 

Even if children actually frequent this daycare, you can’t be a “quality learning center” if you can’t spell learning correctly. If I put my politician hat on real quick, clearly this facility needs far more than $4M in state funding if they want any shot of learning how to spell a 7-letter word. 

So what’s our take here? Regardless of your political orientation, this story is embarrassing. The fallout of this video made me sad. Republicans blame democrats. Democrats call republicans racist. And in the end, none of those claims are made because they want to fix the underlying issues. Instead, they’re building rapport with their supporters so they can get re-elected. 

The reality is that both democrats and republicans refused to balance the federal budget for decades, spent trillions on a fake war in the Middle East, and got paid during the government shutdown while thousands of workers struggled to pay rent. 

Trying to get you upset about democrats blowing money or republicans being racist is not helpful. It’s political positioning and has nothing to do with solving problems. If they actually gave a fuck about your tax money being blown, they wouldn’t be insulting each other; they’d work together to solve the problem. 

But just like Somalians aren’t incentivized to run real daycare centers, our politicians aren’t incentivized to work together. They’re incentivized to make back door deals with corporations so they can get on the board when they retire, get sweet insider information on when Nvidia is gonna pump, and get free plane rides to private islands in the caribbean. 

Personally, I don’t have a lot of faith they’ll get their shit together, which is why Jabroni Capital is excited to announce we’ve invested in over 30 daycare centers in the Twin Cities area. As the saying goes, if you can’t beat them, you might as well join them.

If you refer 5 people to Jabroni Capital, I’ll write you an unhinged LinkedIn recommendation and feature it in the newsletter.

Memes

One of the best trends over the holiday was all of the Erica Kirk memes that popped up.

It’s a simple life, but someone has to live it.

This is comically accurate.

I couldn’t resist sharing this one.

Song of the Day

One thing you may not know about me is that I love lesbian music. What is lesbian music? Well, it’s typically a melodic indie song with a female lead singer belting out oddly soothing and haunting lyrics. This song by Phantastic Ferniture was a favorite track of mine years ago and recently came back on rotation.

Listen to the full Jabroni Capital playlist here.

Newsletter Feedback

I’d love your feedback on what sort of content you’d like to see or how you think I could improve :)

That’s all for this week folks,

Jack Kuveke (J.K.) | GP @ Jabroni Capital