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Oh, how the tables have turned
Good afternoon LPs,
I’m sorry for the week-long newsletter hiatus. A deep fake of me drinking beer with Kim Jong Un surfaced, and I had to quell my investors’ concerns. Starting today, we will be back to our regular scheduled programming.
Anyway, let’s get into today’s newsletter.
Hard and Fast News
fake headlines, real news
Deloitte to repay Albanese government after using AI to generate a $440k report including fake links to studies. Deloitte CEO comments, “This is not a very deloiteful moment in our company’s history,” prompting death threats from several world leaders. (The Guardian)
Judge blocks Trump from deploying California National Guard to Oregon. “What’s next? Is the judge also going to block me from trying to drive the green on hole #14 at Mar-A-Lago?” commented Trump. (LA Times)
Gen Z domestic partnership ends in divorce after non-binary spouse “co-dumps” husband with mistress, whom she was aware of. “We have no clue what half of this sentence means, but we’re pretty sure it’s funny,” comments Jabroni Capital analyst. (NYT)
OpenAI Releases Sora 2
Last week, OpenAI released Sora 2, the latest version of their AI video generation software. For those of you who’ve been living under a rock for the last couple of years, this software allows you to instantly generate hyper-realistic videos of anything or anyone.
Within hours of its release, the most popular video on Sora 2 was a fake CCTV video of Sam Altman being arrested for stealing graphics cards from a department store. This was obviously very funny.
Wow, it’s really cool that we can use AI to make fake CCTV footage of people committing crimes. Surely this has no downsides whatsoever.
— Joe B (@AstroJoeB)
9:37 PM • Sep 30, 2025
That being said, you don’t exactly have to be a rocket scientist to realize that the implications of this software will be devastating for society.
Was your friend a dick to you? Well, hopefully his sister doesn’t have a public Instagram. It would be a shame if some hyper-realistic videos of her and you appeared on the internet.
Did your uncle Tom take a lot of videos of you and your friends in the pool when you were 11? Well, he doesn’t have to anymore - now he can legally generate those videos himself.
According to our reports, the only two people excited about the launch of Sora 2 were Donald Trump and Bill Clinton. Who are reportedly no longer scared of the Epstein files being released now that they have plausible deniability.
Don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of cool things you can use Sora 2 for. It will allow a lot of small teams to make cool content they otherwise couldn’t afford to make.
However, most of the content that will be generated is going to be absolute fucking slop. If you thought AI-generated voice-overs and YouTube scripts were bad, get ready for AI everything.
Once you’ve seen your 15th video of Super Mario being arrested for a DUI, this isn’t going to be cool anymore. It’s like when you buy your son a drum set for his birthday. At first, you like seeing him play, but once you’ve heard the intro to Enter Sandman 287 times, you’ll wish he were playing Fortnite all day.
The reality is, human beings work off of incentives, and the majority of people will always take the path of least resistance. Up until now, if people wanted to make art or build something cool, they had to do it themselves. But with AI now, they don’t have to, so most people won’t. This is the crux of our society's newest existential threat. AI is eroding the human soul.
To sum up my feelings towards AI’s encroachment on human creativity, I wrote a completely un-plagiarized poem:
At first, AI wrote people’s college essays, and I didn’t speak up, because I didn’t want to write my college essays.
Then AI wrote our LinkedIn posts, and I didn’t speak up, because I didn’t want to write my own LinkedIn posts.
Then AI did our coding, and I didn’t speak up, because coding is gay and I liked making $180k/year without doing anything.
Then AI made a video of Donald Trump fucking my friend’s girlfriend, and I didn’t speak up, because it was funny.
But then AI made a video of my friend fucking my mom, and there was no one left to speak up for me.
If you refer 5 people to Jabroni Capital, I’ll write you an unhinged LinkedIn recommendation and feature it in the newsletter.
Memes
bla bla bla
This is what I watch to motivate myself in the morning.
“I need you to ask them for me”.
Song of the Day
This song by David Bowie is a classic. Some of you may know it from a scene in Inglorious Bastards. The protagonists are burning down a theatre with a bunch of Nazi’s in it, and right when they light the fire, this song starts playing.
Listen to the full Jabroni Capital playlist here.
Gen Z, when they realize mango mint vapes have been discontinued.
I’d love your feedback on what sort of content you’d like to see or how you think I could improve :)
How was the newsletter today? |
That’s all for this week folks,
Jack Kuveke (J.K.) | GP @ Jabroni Capital
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