- Jabroni Capital
- Posts
- Silicon Valley Drama
Silicon Valley Drama
People are freaking out over this startup founders tweet...
Jack Kuveke
August 04, 2025
Good afternoon LPs,
Yesterday, we hit 20,000 subscribers on this newsletter. Thanks for helping us get to this point. Maintaining integrity and not being afraid to say what’s on our minds has been crucial to helping us grow. Our readers know they can trust Jabroni Capital, unlike legacy media institutions.
On an unrelated note, if any of you work for the NYT, WSJ, or a foreign government (looking at you, China), we would love to discuss selling.
Anyway, let’s get into today’s newsletter.
Hard and Fast News
fake headlines, real news
McKinsey consultants worried about being laid off due to AI. “It’s only funny when the poor, non-MBAs who don’t understand anything get laid off. There’s no compassion anymore,” said a McKinsey consultant who wished to remain anonymous. (WSJ)
Texas Democrats leave the state to prevent the congressional map vote. “They have it all wrong, to prevent a vote, you have to go to the place where the voting is happening, like we did on January 6th,” quoted a Texas congressman. (Reuters)
Elon Musk’s Grok has been updated to have “Spicy” and “Imagine” modes for generating AI images. App instantly jumps to the top of App Store downloads, and usage in the 12-14 year old boy demographic soars. (NBC)
OpenAI raises $8.3 billion to recruit all of China. “Look, we know where the top talent is coming from; this is a great way to control the talent pool,” said Sam Altman in a press release Monday morning. (Fortune)
X Users Get Mad at Successful Asians
Last week, a tech founder went viral for tweeting that he went to a fancy dinner and everyone there had either gone to Stanford or Harvard. Obviously, this is the kind of dork shit a Stanford nerd would tweet. We get it, your parents made you play Violin, learn calculus, and join the debate team when you were 7. No one gives a shit.
Unfortunately… I was wrong. I thought no one would give a shit, but they do.
At first, when I saw this, I felt bad for the poster. I thought he was young and fell into the prestige trap. You spend your entire childhood trying to prove yourself, all so you can go to an elite college and have an elite career. Honestly, there’s nothing wrong with that per se; that’s what everyone said you were supposed to do for the last 50 years.
The one thing you can take solace in is that these aren't "leaders". Ivy leagues aren't creating these anymore.
They are test score maxxers. They are given a checklist of all the things to do and they do them to a T. They are very well paid and very efficient slaves.
— bumbadum (@bumbadum14)
2:59 PM • Jul 31, 2025
But I was not expecting the insane amount of outrage in response to this post. Thousands of angry white people responded, claiming these kids weren’t Americans or that Asians are just rule followers who don’t innovate. Ironically, racist white people’s two favorite things, guns and Mac & Cheese (noodles), were invented by the Chinese.
So, where is all this hate coming from? The problem is that many Americans have been disillusioned with how the world works. Are institutions racist for accepting lots of Asians? No, they accept the applicants with the highest test scores, highest grades, and best extracurriculars.
If playing Call of Duty, saying the N-Word in Discord servers, and going into debt to modify your pickup truck were a prerequisite for getting into Stanford, more dudes from middle America would be there.
What I want to say to these angry people is, what happened to pulling yourself up by your bootstraps? That’s what your sect of extremist imbeciles preached for the last 20 years, but when you see an Asian dude pull himself up by his bootstraps, he’s just “a try hard” and the system’s rigged?
I didn’t get into Harvard because I’m white and they’re pushing DEI. I didn’t get in because I was busy smoking weed and trying to get a handjob (zero regrets). And while I didn’t get that handjob, I did pull myself up by my bootstraps by building a retarded newsletter and writing gay LinkedIn posts. If I had studied, maybe I could’ve worked at Goldman Sachs, but I forfeited that option years ago while I was hanging out under the bleachers.
Everyone needs to remember that the world rewards people who do hard things. Getting a degree in Sociology and day drinking lukewarm Bud Light is not hard. Getting a 4.0 in electrical engineering while being a concert pianist is. It’s not a surprise that Google is hiring Xu Ling and not Craig with fetal alcohol syndrome. If you think that’s racism, it’s time to ask yourself an important question: Was my mom drinking during pregnancy?
This could be you.
If you refer 5 people to Jabroni Capital I’ll write you an unhinged LinkedIn recommendation and feature it in the newsletter.
Memes
I’ll know I’ve made it when I sell Jabroni Capital and start producing weapons.
Jason once again makes a great point.
I’m gonna start nominating my enemies for Forbes 30 under 30.
Song of the Day
The other week, music legend Ozzy Osbourne died. Most people know him for his heavy metal songs, but this might be one of my favorite tracks of his. It’s a classic British power ballad that you wouldn’t expect from the drug-addled and bat-eating Ozzy. If you’ve never heard it or forgot it existed, give it a listen.
Listen to the full Jabroni Capital playlist here.
I think adding floral arrangements to my hair is a nice touch.
I’d love your feedback on what sort of content you’d like to see or how you think I could improve :)
How was the newsletter today? |
That’s all for this week folks.
Jack Kuveke (J.K.) | GP @ Jabroni Capital
Reply