Model Fights

Good morning LPs,

I feel like I’m in a renaissance period when it comes to new content. Right when I think I’m about to run out of stuff to talk about, god descends from heaven and compels billionaire tech bros to do something new. Here’s what we’re going to cover in today’s newsletter:

• Meta Releases Open Source AI

• Jim Cramer Pushes Crowdstrike Before Collapse

• Secret Service Director Resigns

Let’s get into it.

Meta Releases Open Source AI

On Tuesday Mark Zuckerberg announced that Meta had released Llama 3.1, the first open source AI model to compete with OpenAIs GPT4.

This is a battle of the models. Although I prefer watching 5’11 Russian models fight in a dark NYC warehouse, seeing the world's biggest nerds battle it out for AI dominance is also pretty exciting.

Sam Altman better watch out. If OpenAI releases their own open source model to compete with Meta, according to ChatGPT there’s a 43% chance Zuckerberg will put Altman in a chokehold.

I tried to ask Gemini if Sam or Mark would win in a fight, but it couldn’t give me a straight answer and instead told me I should consider gender reassignment surgery.

Build An MVP That Doesn’t Suck

Most startup founders invest wayyyy too much time and money building MVPs nobody fucking wants. But that’s where my friends at Verticode come in. 

Verticode builds affordable MVPs in just 2 weeks that shockingly don’t suck ass. In the last year they’ve worked with 50+ startups, many of whom have gone on to raise millions of dollars & generate millions in revenue. 

I’m actually using them right now to build JabroniAI, a chatbot that tells founders they should give up faster. 

So instead of getting scammed by some shady offshore team that’s probably based in North Korea, check out Verticode.  

Jim Cramer Pushes Crowdstrike Before Collapse

One month before Crowdstrike broke the internet and saw their stock drop ~30%, notorious investor Jim Cramer told people to invest. 

In the last 30 years this man has made $100M telling financially destitute American’s to buy garbage stocks. 

For example, in 2008 he told the world Bear Stearns wasn’t in trouble. 6 days later it went bankrupt. 

I’ve never been so inspired. My goal at Jabroni Capital is to be the Jim Cramer of tech. 

That’s why I’m doubling down on Clubhouse, Quibi, and FTX.

Secret Service Director Resigns

On Tuesday July 23rd the director of the secret service Kimberly Cheatle resigned after the attempted assassination of Donald Trump.

In response Cheatle said, “Most of the people in Pennsylvania are white and republican, so we didn’t think there would be any threat”. 

Personally, I think the world is being too harsh on Kimberly. At Jabroni Capital we believe in failing fast, and Cheatle failed faster than a speeding bullet.

Memes

corporate.sween

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That’s a manager I can get behind.

friday.beers

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This actually makes a lot of sense.

This is your signal to pivot to an AI startup.

Song of the Day

Here’s the song of the day. When I listen to this, I imagine I’m about to commit a heist & when I snap back to reality I’m actually just day trading shitcoins.

Newsletter Feedback

I’d love your feedback on what sort of content you’d like to see or how you think I could improve :)

That’s all for this week folks,

Jack Kuveke (J.K.) | GP @ Jabroni Capital