Can someone please get me in touch with an international cyber criminal?

Is it just me, or does being an international cyber criminal seem like the peak of existence? I remember reading the book “Silk Road” when I was 15 thinking that Ross Ulbricht, aka Dread Pirate Roberts, was the man. With the latest Binance hack my opinion hasn’t changed. If anything it’s just stronger. Listen to these stats put up by the North Korean hacker group TraderTraitor and tell me you don’t agree: 

• $6.3 billion stolen

• the whole thing took about 20 minutes

• 12,000 wallets hot wallets

• $3 billion frozen, still got $3.3 billion 

• it started with a LinkedIn recruiter, an HR screen, a fake CEO and a take-home "assignment" that ran for months

• the hack went off October 29

Ok now I know some of our readers are righteous warriors who could never agree this is awesome. So let me tell you about Ramon Olorunwa Abbas, aka Hushpuppi:

• Dubai-based Nigerian Instagram influencer and self-proclaimed real estate mogul

• Helped scam a US law firm out of about $40 million

• Illegally moved $14.7 million out of a foreign bank

• Tried to steal $124 million from an English Premier League club

• When Dubai police raided him, they seized about $40 million in cash, 13 luxury cars worth $7 million, 21 laptops, 47 smartphones, 15 memory storage devices, five external hard drives, and the emails of 800,000 potential victims

• His dad was a cab driver

• 50 Cent is making a TV show about his life

This is what crypto is about. Scams, burner phones and Dubai penthouses. Nobody wants to hear about redesigning the global financial system, stablecoins and decentralization. We all know why everyone is so excited to go to Dubai, and it’s not the low crime and clean streets. 

Lastly, let me introduce Sim Hyon Sop, the North Korean banker. 

The FBI is offering up to $7 million for information on him. 

I’m ready to up the ante because I’m tired of sitting on the sidelines. Jabroni Capital is prepared to launch a Team America level operation. Our offer is $10 million to whoever gets him on the phone. We are also offering smaller bounties for other cyber criminals that we will determine based on how sick their resume is. For reference we would pay $69 million for Hushpuppi.

Carson Badamo | Managing Degenerate @ Jabroni Capital