Bigger Than Expected

Good morning LPs,

It’s hot as balls in NYC right now and I’m unable to work in these conditions without access to a rooftop pool every 45 min. This is why I keep saying we should move our headquarters to the Monaco. Anyway, here’s what we cover in todays newsletter:

• A16z Founders Endorse Trump

• Shocking: VC Hires People Without VC Experience

• 18 Year Old Running RNC Creator Strategy

Let’s get into it.

A16z Founders Endorse Trump

Yesterday Marc Andreessen & Ben Horowitz, the founders of a16z, published a podcast where they openly supported Donald Trump's presidency. 

What’s most shocking about this interview, is that their podcast studio setup looks like somethingtwo porn-addicted anime nerds would set up. 

What the fuck is the point of being a billionaire if you don’t design studio to look like a Batman villain. 

Marc & Ben went on in the interview to state that Donald Trump would be good for ‘little tech’. I want to go on the record and say that my tech is NOT LITTLE. In fact, I’ve been told my tech is ‘bigger than expected’. 

Shocking: VC Hires People Without VC Experience

On Tuesday, Larsen Jensen, an Olympian, turned Navy Seal, turned VC posted that he’s surprised that “almost everyone he’s hired had no prior VC background”. (Oympian turned Navy Seal??? Move aside Oprah, I think I have a new crush)

The fact that it took Larsen this long to realize that you don’t need experience to be a VC, is exactly why he’s so qualified for the job. 

We’re so inspired by Larsen's background, that we’re setting up booths at local high schools to recruit would be Navy Seals to our team. Our slogan: ‘you could be a good Navy Seal, or a GREAT Venture Capitalist’.

At Jabroni Capital, the only thing you’ll be killing is other people’s money & the hopes/dreams of underrepresented entrepreneurs.

18 Year Old Running RNC Creator Strategy

I’m incredibly proud to announce that our 18 year old unpaid intern Jeff has been responsible for running the RNCs creator strategy. 

It says a lot about the state of the country, when the leaders are so fucking old that you have to hire an 18 year just to bring down the avg age from 84 to 83 & ½. 

Half of Jeff’s job is just telling president Trump that he left the flashlight on his phone on. 

The other half of his job has been recruiting Mr. Beast to host a live Youtube episode where the last of 100 illegal immigrants to leave a Border Patrol bus win American citizenship. 

Memes

Low key this is actually a great grift.

jabronicap

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Am I famous yet?

Someone give this man a raise.

Song of the Day

This is one of my favorite songs of all time. It reminds me of the hard times I had growing up on the streets of Connecticut.

Newsletter Feedback

I’d love your feedback on what sort of content you’d like to see or how you think I could improve :)

That’s all for this week folks,

Jack Kuveke (J.K.) | GP @ Jabroni Capital