You’ve Been Replaced

Good afternoon LPs,

In case you hadn’t heard, Portugal and Spain power grid went down earlier this week. What’s most remarkable isn’t that these two former super powers went dark, it’s that no one I talked to in America even noticed because people in Spain and Portugal stopped doing work 600 years ago.

Anyway let’s get into today’s newsletter.

Hard and Fast News

fake headlines, real news

Nearly 100% of Portugal and Spain lost power this week after an electrical grid employee took a midday nap and forgot to slip a switch. (The Independent) 

Starting May 7th, U.S. citizens will be required to fly with a Real ID verified driver's license. Enterprise rentals seeing 80% increase in rentals from terrorist groups. (Usa Today)

The U.S. Department of Defense paid McKinsey $124M to figure out whether 100 men are actually capable of defeating a single gorilla in combat. (X)

a16z Founder Says Venture Capital Won’t be Replaced by AI

On Tuesday Marc Andreessen, founder of a16z, made a series of predictions about how AI will replace jobs. Most notably he said that Venture Capital may be the only job that AI can’t substitute, stating, “It's more art than science. There's no formula. Just taste, psychology, and chaos tolerance”. 

So let me get this straight, the guy who’s funding all of the AI companies that are replacing jobs, said that the only job that won’t be replaced is his? This is like a NYC taxi driver in 2013 saying that Uber isn’t a threat to his business because taxi medallions are at an all time high. 

Newsflash Marc, AI will take your job. It’s potentially one of the easiest to automate. The biggest downside to Venture Capital is non-technical ding-dongs investing in companies based on vibes. Adam Neumann had incredible vibes, SBF was an autistic vibe-ologist, Elizabeth Holmes… ok VCs were just dumb for that one, maybe she reminded them of their ex-girlfriend or something. 

My point is that Venture Capital firms would almost certainly make more money if they invested in companies based on math instead of their “gut feeling”. One of the only times I’ve worked for other people was a startup accelerator/VC firm. Working there showed me just how retarded vibe investing was. Every time they thought a founder was cool, the investment team would come up with 50 reasons why they should give that company money. Surprisingly it failed miserably. In fact I created the reverse VC index, whenever they passed on a deal I’d invest. By the end of my time there I was a rich man. 

If Warren Buffett traded off of vibes he’d still be living in a shitty trailer park in Omaha. Sadly he’s still living in a shitty house in Omaha, but that’s because he’s autistic not because he couldn’t afford it. In fact using math to make investment decisions was such a good idea the old goblin man has enough money to buy all of Omaha’s real estate, twice. 

My point is that I don’t like making broad sweeping bets on the future. In case you haven’t noticed most of the time people make predictions they get them dead wrong. But I will make one bet, my masseuse Hilga will have a job 20 years after OpenAI replaces Marc Andreessen’s.

Check out the latest episode of Silly Valley

A couple weeks ago my friend Jason had the idea to build an app that would tell you how much you looked like your dog. Shockingly, it failed. But if I learned anything from spending 10 years in the tech industry, it’s that if at first you don’t succeed pivot to a different business model. So naturally, we built a biotech company. What the full episode to see what happened.

If you refer 5 people to Jabroni Capital I’ll write you an unhinged LinkedIn recommendation and feature it in the newsletter. Shout out to Evan for referring the most subs this week!

Memes

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No one was ready for this.

The hiring market in 2025 is brutal.

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I wish I had known at 15 that I just needed to raise $7M from Sequoia to be cool.

Song of the Day

I’ve listened to this song an unhealthy amount the last week. Every year or so The Marias comes out with an album that is packed with bangers. Great music for a quiet day of working in a coffee shop or if you accidently lose $186,000 in shitcoins. Give it a listen.

Listen to the full Jabroni Capital playlist here.

Newsletter Feedback

I’d love your feedback on what sort of content you’d like to see or how you think I could improve :)

That’s all for this week folks,

Jack Kuveke (J.K.) | GP @ Jabroni Capital